Losing my Religion

Losing my Religion

I hated myself today on something I've done. No I can't revert things back. I can only think that the life is much bigger than what I think it is. The way I see it and the way it actually is, there are so many thing I might not be knowing when I do something.
Oh no... I think I've said too much...

[Silence]
O, life is bigger
It's bigger than you and you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much, I set it up

These days I've started to hate Orkut. It reveals so much about our lives. About so many other people's lives. Because of that I had enabled profile visitors on my profile. It restrained me from going to other people's profiles. But yesterday I disabled profile visitors, cause daily I used to check who all came to my profile. And then, eventhough I hate it for that, I roamed around today through the profiles of people, from friends to friends of friends and to I don't know whose profiles and scrapbooks. And I just ran into something.

Sometimes even when we see something shocking, we can't do anything about it. We can't react to it, we can't fix things right. Throughout the evening, lots of things ran in my head in a flashback. And now I think I can do nothing about it. Except for losing my religion.
Oh no... I think I've said too much... or maybe I haven't said enough

[Silence]
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much, I haven't said enough

In South America, losing religion means losing faith in god, running out of wits. Sometimes I feel I have seen enough. Maybe nothing new, but when we see things from proximity, about people whom we've known, we tend to undergo an unavoidable shock, and every word after that feels like a splash of water on a glass surface... washing nothing away... not because it can't, but because there's nothing to wash away. We tend to lose our religion.

And sometimes we can't do anything about it all, other than staying as a mute and hidden spectator. And when we know things more than we are supposed to know, on meeting with people, we hear them laughing, singing... though we know that they are just trying to do it all, maybe to hide something which they don't know that we know.
Oh no I've said too much...

[Silence]
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

I don't know why I am writing this post here. I just don't know. Do I want to tell someone something? Am I trying to tell that I did a bit too much of digging into someone's personal life? And I am acting like one stupid fool. Trying to say things and then add these words...
Oh no... I think I've said too much...

[Silence]
Every whisper of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I've said too much, I set it up

You might be thinking that I am overreacting. Perhaps I am. But you know what, life is full of analogies. Sometimes sweet but sometimes bitter. Maybe with some other coating but equally disturbing at its core. And I am scared of such analogies.
Now I've really said too much...

[Silence]
Consider this, consider this
The hint of the century, consider this
The slip that brought me to my knees failed
What if all these fantasies come flailing around
Now I've said too much

I think i'll keep on pinching myself for next whole day.

[Silence]
But that was just a dream,
that was just a dream

Oh no... I think I've said too much... I better stop now.

[Silence]
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much, I haven't said enough
But that was just a dream
Try, cry, fly, try
That was just a dream
Just a dream
Just a dream, dream

[Period]

P.S.: So many times life travels along the songs close to our heart. This one by R.E.M. makes me think like that. Song lyrics have been taken from here.

Oh no I've said too much... or perhaps I haven't said enough.