Dark Side of The Venus

Dark Side of The Venus

Disclaimer: The author is completely out of his mind. If you think of this post as offensive and bad then it’s solely the responsibility of the author himself. The computer and the keyboard have nothing to do with it. And they would be very happy if you use them to break the head of the author.

A post with disclaimer in the beginning??? Oh yes you gotta try new things if you are treading the unsafe lands and targeting the natives of a completely different planet.

Ah yes... this post is about the sweet ladies around constituting 50% of the alien population of planet earth. I've written this post with the seriousness of the level of a PhD research paper of MIT (now now… Muzaffarpur Institute of Technology students please don't get excited, I am talking of Massachusetts) in my full consciousness and am ready to undergo a trial on this.

The following is just a small example of what I am trying to write about. I know after posting this script in italics below I might have to go underground and beg god for life. Its another sad story that even god can't do anything.

Yesterday they screened a chat show on MTV shot in IIT Roorkee on girls vs guys. I was thrilled to see my insti on TV and called my friends up. One of them is male and the other is female:

I: Turn on MTV they are screening a chat show on Roorkee.
Friend-I: Oh really, I'll just do that.

I: Turn on MTV they are screening a chat show on Roorkee.
Friend-II: I know about it. I've seen it before. There is one girl in it who is very good and there is a guy who is very stupid.

I am sure men and women are the products of two pilot projects god would have undertaken to populate mars and venus and then forgotten in the excitement of watching ice hockey match between polar bear and penguins (what a pathetic expression dreamer...). And later, out of fear he would have dumped these malfunctioning creatures on earth as a food for dinosaurs. God made two mistakes here:

1) He dumped both on same planet.
2) Poor dinosaurs... they all died.

Coming to the present state of the world, both the species have evolved a lot. Men in the direction of understanding women and women in the direction of negating all the understandings by becoming more unpredictable.

Few of the zillion properties of women I would like to mention.

1) They don't understand the concept of boolean. They just don't. They always expect an answer other than a "Yes" or a "No".

2) According to women, men (the other 50% population) can never be right. If at all they agree with men on a matter of dispute, you gotta wait for the volcano to explode. Things will grow worse. Ideally men must stay happy if women are disagreeing on things.

3) Don't explain things logically. That turns them off like anything. At the same time don't talk illogical. You'd get lashed out on that. I know you are thinking of staying silent as the safest solution, do not ever try to do that. It would be very rude of you and may turn out to be more disastrous.

And yes such situations can't be avoided. They'll keep asking explanation for things.

4) Some people assume that women don't think. Oh that’s a very big mistake. Their neural activity never stops.

5) According to women, they are never wrong. But if you say that they were right about something, they might say that they were wrong. Though the wrongness would last for only a few minutes.

6) They don't care if you are explaining anatomy of human body or architecture of .NET framework. You can't go beyond few words. They don't like long discussions.

7) Women have ten million different categories of friends and one category of love which would normally be preoccupied by some real or imaginary Mr. Right. So if you are after some girl, your chances are one to ten million if you are damned lucky and match the imaginary guy else zero.

8) Even Catherine Zeta Jones is less beautiful than any one of them. Ah yes this one would be valid for Venus Williams also. And if you ask Catherine Zeta Jones, of course she is the most beautiful.
If you are into mathematics skip this point you won't be able to understand it.

9) All would claim to be looking for a next door guy. O c'mon don't look at your door none of you is a next door guy. They haven't released the definition of the term "door" yet?

10) Women are very "mature" at handling emotions.

(Top secret: This theory has been given by men because they don't want a war more devastating than nuclear war)


This list can just qualify as a prologue of a thousand paged book containing different and equally startling behavioral traits of women.

No man living or dead has ever had enough wits to write that thousand paged book.

But as I mentioned, even men were dumped by god because of malfunctioning. They'll always fall for women till they extinct. They'll make fun, cry, laugh about women and still do the same fault again and again.


If you are reading this post (of course you are) and you are a:

lady: I am sorry I didn't intend to say bad things about you. I know its all my fault. I was wrong. I was totally wrong. Can I ever make it up for this post?

a guy rejected by a girl: I am sorry man. Accept my condolences.

a committed guy: I am so sorry man. Accept my double condolences.

a single guy: Don't worry you'll find a girl soon.