I like them at Zoos

I like them at Zoos

Dogs make the bestest friend one can have. They'll listen to you, care for you, get cared by you and most importantly they are the most truthful and innocent companion.

I could have stolen these words from "Care for your dogs" manual they were distributing at Forum mall yesterday before actually eating jhaal mudhi on it (it was printed on colorful smooth paper, perfect for serving jhaal mudhi). The jhaal mudhi idea forced me to give a second thought to go ahead and grab one copy of the manual. The first thought came because of the sweet lady on the stall who was bored and waiting for someone to talk with her. But the third thought made me walk away from the stall as soon as possible. The third thought was...

I like them at zoos...

Oh Stupid, not the stall girls but the dogs... actually pets in general. And I thought, to hell with the manual, I'll eat jhaal mudhi on good old newspaper.

Now now... I can see some familiar eyebrows raising high enough to touch their hairlines. Bring it down buddies and don't hate me for this. Let me write my reasons first.

We moved into this place some 2 years back. If you are my friend and have talked with me on phone this story won't be new for you.

I believe god has made every creature for some purpose. Yes this divine creature has been created by god to bark at all those times when I talk on mobile phone. Perhaps god has installed some radio sensitive hardware and infinite backup barking system in its body. And I must say that the damned creature has mastered the art of barking.

We are a bunch of fighters at heart and thats what made us to arrive at this fool proof master plan to get rid of this ugly henious creature.

It was diwali, and with all the crackers we bought there was one more with extra explosives. And here was the mission.

Code name: Mackey We love you (mackey is its name)
Plan Description: Blow off the damned thing.
Target: Mouth
Time: Night, when diwali is on its high and it barks with mouth wide open
Post mission plan: Party
Mission Result: Failed

They tied the thing inside the house. The evil thing had barked the whole day because of the cracker noise and perhaps they feared that it might bark its stomach out. Or maybe they had sensed that we were upto something.

Two diwalis have crossed the plan remains unsuccessful. It still barks the hell out of our minds everyday. Next mission is to deliver it to the dog catchers. The plan is under formulation and is tagged as "Top Secret" to avoid any information leakage this time.

I have some additional reasons too. There's one stray dog in our locality whose head quaters is around our house. Its an amazing creature. We call it saint. It doesn't run behind the sexy bitches. Barks very rarely. Never attacks any creature. Its an amazing dog isn't it. Well the facts follow.

Background: We dry our clothes out in the back side of our house.


Case 1: Three of our bedsheets have been shredded into pieces to make a more comfortable nest for Mr Saint.

Case 2: Most of the socks in our house are single like us. I saw the better half of one of them some 50 meters away from our house on the road. I wonder what Mr. Saint uses it for.

Case 3: Once Mr. Saint had eaten one of our tiffins. Our delivery boy used to place it outside the door for us to pickup.

I used to love kittens when I was a child. Once I had cried and asked mom to get a kitten. So you see if ever I longed for a pet then that was a kitten. Though that affection has also vanished with time.

Ok now some more incidents.

Incident 1: A friend of mine got herself a lovely(she found it lovely so I think it would be lovely) kitten which was wounded badly by dogs.

Incident 2: Today in the morning some dogs ate away a whole kitten in our locality. The only thing left was the head of the poor thing lying ruthlessly on the road. May its soul rest in peace.

Well, I hate dogs. And I think I've given enough reasons to hate dogs. Call it prejudice but the dog hate syndrome has wiped out all the affection I had for all the pets.

Ok I never said I hate other pets, infact I said I like them....

I like them....

at...

...zoos