Moments of pause

Moments of pause

There are times when I just sit back, play a song in repeat mode and sink into the moment of pause. No evaluations, no emotions just a re-look into the past and present.

I opened my facebook profile page and kept scrolling till the first message on "Dreamer joined facebook". Clearly facebook doesn't cover a significant portion of my past but even without it I was just wondering if I could connect the dots of my life, the states of mind reflected in all my status messages to arrive at a meaningful thread. And more I thought about it lesser could I conclude.

Clearly the more I think about it the lesser I end up believing in the concept of extrapolation. In this life of erratic (well who am I to judge if its been erratic or whatever) and random dynamism, the only think I could convince myself of is that expectations are mere fantasies. A kid needs a toy to keep himself busy. He'll talk with the toy as a friend, pet or what not and build an imaginary world around it. Well to be true to the spirits of this world I am not trying to demean anything here. Its just that I am just not into preaching anymore. Which means I have to live with voids and moments of pauses. While these moments get disturbing at times, my experience with the other state of mind has been rather worse.

To be true to this blog, I am not a dreamer any more. I am just what is left of a dreamer. Its not a state that can be judged as better or worse. As of now I am truly enjoying this state of mind. Though I do sometimes question the insensitiveness associated with this state of mind.

Just that I can't point a finger at what has led to it... Maybe age... yes I think its age.