Rain

Rain

We live pretty much the same lives now. However, there still are times when he deviates from reality and tries silly things. What can I say about him, he's like a kid sometimes. I know he understands that I would write it all here. But you know he's a fool, like he has always been and he needs to read this again and again, the way he reads that post.

Its 4am... Time to sleep. And I gave this post the name Rain though its not about rain. Well actually gone are the days when it used to rain. And gone are the days when he used to sit outside, naked. Those were silly days indeed and he admits it. Anyways...

He is sleeping inside. He can't come out now. But he did come out few days back. I chased him and caught him there on top of that tower. Oh ya you can't see it. I don't remember if there was any moon in the sky that night. I caught him on the top of the tower standing against the breeze in the darkness... or maybe there was some light.

Good gracious dreamer what are you doing here on top of this building?

I want to fly off... Do you think I can?

Are you crazy? You can't fly... You are not made to fly.

That doesn't change anything. All I need is a strong gust of wind in opposite direction and I would take off...

What if you fall down...

As if I haven't in the past...

Why don't you learn then...

Why do you let me come here then?

[I had no answer]

Isn't it too cold here? You would kill yourself

Don't worry I can't die

I wish you could...

He turned towards me. I could clearly see his cold pale and scarred face with the dark circles around his eyes. I must admit he scares me sometimes.

He smiled and turned back towards the dark sky on the other side. Or maybe it was not dark.

And then, the breeze stopped. He waited for the gust of wind for some more time. It was 5am. Minutes before sunrise. Time to give up. He lowered his head in disappointment. His arms that were wide open came down and hung low. I looked up at him from the corner where I had settled myself waiting for him to give up. I got up and in a sudden surge of anger ran towards him to push him off the building.

He turned around right when I reached close enough to push him down in force. And before he could tame me with his dreamy eyes, I had thrown him off the edge.

It felt like a slow motion free fall. His eyes not missing a second of contact with mine. Both our faces as cold as they could be with the cold atmosphere filling the widening dark gap between us. I turned around and walked down the stairs outside the building. I got near his body, it was lying in a pool of blood. He extended his shaky right hand towards me. I held his hand and pulled him towards myself. His head extended the boundaries of the pool of blood, like an oval callout from those comic books. A red wordless thoughtless callout.

He is sleeping in his room. His head has stopped bleeding. This is not the first time I have done this anyways. Though every time I push him off any building his body does get hurt, deformed... some of it is temporary and some permanent. What can I do. I have no choice. He gives me no choice, life gives me no choice.

This post is not about rain, but its hard for me not to think about that time as I write this... After all, that's when it all started.

~dreamer's best friend